So for the past 5 months, I have been preparing for a Ph.D. program at one of the best schools for my major in the world. Lots of pressure, since I have been working more than 70 hrs. a week for this goal. A couple of days ago I sat down and tried to evaluate how I got to this point in my life, and realized that this is not where I wanted to be. And even though I was exceptionally good at what I was doing, and I had mentors who had nothing but the highest belief in my success and abilities in this field. I realized that I do not have the heart for this goal, nor do I want to devote my whole life to it. Some how, in the last 5 months, I lost sight of what my real goals are, and got sidetracked by others faith and belief in my abilities to do well.
I have grown much from this experience and have nothing but the greatest appreciation and opinion of my mentors. But it took me 5 months and approximately 1400 hours of hard dilegent work to find out that I was not meant for this, nor was it meant for me. i will miss this experience and the people that I have grown to admire, but it is time for me to start the new chapter in my life, with much more confidence in myself than ever before.